Lucky Betty

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue and a sixpence in her shoe.

Each item represents a good-luck token for the bride. If she has all of them on her wedding day, her marriage will be happy.

Something old – symbolizes continuity with the bride’s family and the past.

Something new – means optimism and hope for the bride’s new life ahead.

Something borrowed – is usually an item from a happily married friend or family member, whose good fortune in marriage is supposed to carry over to the new bride.

Something blue – has been connected to weddings for centuries. In ancient Rome, brides wore blue to symbolize love, modesty and fidelity.

Sixpence – a silver sixpence in the bride’s shoe represents wealth and financial security.

Betty the big-boob brunette wanted to see if this poem really was true…
She decided to take an old, filthy rich man whom she borrowed from his wife, just until he dies; in a blue wedding suite; with her new 60 carat diamond wedding ring, to the council – without a pre nuptial agreement.

Yes. Luck was on her side…

On their wedding night, the old man discovered that Betty had a six inch long willy in his pants, instead of the sixpence in ‘her’ shoe. So he died of a heart attack.

Ankle Breakers

These shoes are not made for walking,That's just what they won't do,
One of these days these shoes are going to break your ankle in two...

Look at these shoes!!! Why not just break off the heels and it can be the prettiest pumps ever:)

It looks like a cake!!! Doesn't it?
I bet, Buddy Valastro from Cake Boss would love to make a cake like this...
and I would love to eat it up!!

Laughter Yoga OR Stand up comedy?

I heard about laughter yoga only recently, which is a form of yoga employing self-triggered laughter. It was made popular as an excercise routine developed by an Indian physician Madan Kataria.

Apparently the body cannot differentiate between fake and real laughter and according to scientific observation, both fake and real laughter provide the same physiological and psychological benefits.

My question is... why would anybody want to force themselves to laugh? Why not just watch stand up comedy? Chris Rock, Jeff Dunham or Eddie Murphy will make it so much easier and worth the while for you to laugh, rather than forcing yourself to laugh.

Obviously it will not be a form of yoga if you slouch on the couch to watch stand up comedy, so rather watch stand up comedy... standing up straight. It will probably have a much better effect than your typical laughter yoga.

Believe me, I am not being judgmental at all.
I will probably first have to read Mr Kataria's book, laugh for no reason, or try out laughter yoga myself, before I really fathom the whole laughter yoga thing.

The Seven Deadly Sins

Here I was thinking that my life was on the right track, being a Christian and believing in God. Then I came across the seven deadly sins that are so easy to fall into.
Lust

Yes it's a sin. Stop drooling over the new hottie you just met. Looking at him with those bedroom eyes will lead you straight to hell; and its a double sin if you're married.

Gluttony

Over eating is a big no-no. It's really not necessary to make your plate look like mount Kilimanjaro.

Greed

The more you have... the more you want. Do you really need 5 flashy cars or 50 pairs of heels? No! think of the less fortunate, who get by just fine without it.

Sloth

All the coach potatoes and slow goers are definitely going to hell slowly but surely.

Wrath

All the anger and the rage... it's the consequences of it all that is a sin

Envy

I want what you have. If you cannot afford it, don't go another extra mile to get it.
Envy = jealousy, and jealousy makes you nasty

Pride

You don't always have to be the prettiest or feel more important than others, don't love yourself too much. To be conceited and arrogant, will lead you to the big furnace for eternity.

SUDOKU - Only for the Intelligent?? Maybe not!!!

I just learned how to play Sudoku a while ago and I love it. Some people say it's only Intelligent people who can play it, but that's a load of bull... let me teach you how I play it :)

Step 1
Write the numbers from 1 - 9 on a sheet of paper.

Step 2
Choose an open box that you wish to fill, now use the numbers 1 - 9 and scratch out all the numbers that are in the same line, of the box that you wish to fill; horizontally, vertically and in the mini square of 9 boxes.

Step 3
The numbers that remain from the numbers 1 - 9, you write in the corners of the box that you chose to fill. Like so:

Do this to every single box.

Step 4
When all the boxes are completed you will see that some boxes only have one number written in the corners e.g number 2; now write the number 2 bigger and scratch out all the other number 2's that are in the same line horizontally or vertically, as well as in the same mini 9 square boxes.

After step 4 most numbers will be filled in - Each number may only be used once in a row, vertically or horizontally or in the mini square of 9 boxes.

Step 5
In some cases you will have to guess which numbers to write bigger and which ones to scratch out in the corners; as some boxes may look like this:

and it's the guessing part that makes the game more interesting - follow your sudoku gut:)

I hope this lesson is clear and logical, otherwise I will also have to reason that Sudoku is only for the Intelligent - LOL

Pet Peeve???

Now here is a pet peeve that I definitely do not consider as a pet peeve at all.

Many of us women always complain about the toilet seat that is not put down when we want to use the loo... but who says that the seat needs to be left down???
According to my knowledge, a man named Sir John Harrington invented the toilet bowl, so I guess only he has a say as to whether the seat has to be left up or down.

Us women always want the seat to be left and kept down, so my question is... why dont we leave the seat up for the men when we're done, and the men can leave it down when they're done? This way, neither men nor women will feel like crapping in their pants over this silly so-called pet peeve.

What the... Chopsticks!!!
A lot of us have used chopsticks at least once, and by "used" I mean tried using. I for one don't even know how to handle chopsticks, and I just found out that there are even Do's and Don'ts when using them.

Do's

•  Place the chopsticks next to each other on the especially intended holder when you pause or finish eating.
• Take the food in each dish starting from the side nearer to you.
• A bowl of soup or rice can be picked up to decrease the distance between food and mouth to prevent spilling.

Don'ts

• Placing the chopsticks straight up into a bowl of food signals an offering to the deceased in East Asian cultures.
• Point or gesture with the chopsticks in hand.
• Stick the chopsticks into the food.
• Lick the chopsticks or bite the food off the chopsticks.
• Offer table members a taste of your meal using the chopsticks.
• Accept a bowl using the hand you use to hold your chopsticks.
• Take the food from the dish with the back of the chopsticks to put it into your own bowl.
• Take food from the far side of a dish.

At least now you'll know not to stick your chopstick into the food, the next time you go out for Chinese and if it's too complicated, rather opt for a fork.

Here's a tip on the correct handling of chopsticks:

• The lower chopstick should be placed between your thumb and hand, the end must be kept in place using your ring finger. The lower chopstick should not move while picking food.

The upper chopstick should balance on your thumb and should be moved up and down using your middle and/or forefinger.

Chinese anyone?:)